Accounting cover letter critique:
Dear Cassandra ~
As requested, I summarized the information in your submitted cover letter, while keeping intact the spirit of the original.
I began your cover letter by using the same heading as your resume. Your "employment package" is now consistent and looks quite professional.
In the body of the letter, I began by immediately stating your interest in joining Stein, Field & Clairmont's Tax Department. I then wrote, "With a solid background in taxation, coupled with four academic degrees and current attendance in the Taxation Program at Stanford University's Law Center, I know I can make a positive contribution to your firm." Rather than offering specifics in this opening paragraph, including your date of graduation from the Taxation Program, I chose to interest the hiring manager in your overall academic and professional achievements.
I got into specifics in the bulleted section that follows, listing your qualifications that include, more than four years as a tax agent in Israel, licensure as a Certified Public Accountant, successful completion of a legal internship, etc. Rather than presenting this information in paragraph form, the bulleted section allows the reader to pause between each achievement so as not to be overwhelmed by all the data. Too, the formatting draws the reader's eye to this section - and that's exactly what you want it to do.
I then wrote that additional qualifications could be found in the enclosed resume and academic transcript.
Next I wrote, "In an effort to discuss this matter further, I will be calling your office within the next few days to see if we might set up a time to meet." Here, I had you take the initiative. In the industry, it's not only accepted, but also expected that the prospective employee make the first contact, rather than waiting for the hiring manager to call them.
I then ended the cover letter by thanking the contact person for their time.
Each decision to modify data was in keeping with the guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).
With this cover letter, you now have a powerful tool that's well organized and filled with pertinent data, while also remaining aesthetically pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Cassandra.
With your excellent qualifications, I know you'll do well in the future.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CRPW)
