Cover letter sample critique:
Dear Tracy,
In an effort to maintain continuity between your resume and cover letter, I used the same heading and formatting you use on your existing resume. This presents a professional "package" to the hiring manager.
In the opening paragraph, I introduced your most recent job experience, your stated career goal, and why you feel you will be a successful addition to the company. I also stated your self-starting capability by writing "After years of on-the-job training with minimal supervision in a time-intensive environment…"
In the next paragraph, I wrote of your Masters in Business Administration to display your excellent academic qualifications and then mentioned your extensive technical skills. In the bulleted area that follows, I spoke of your ability to work cross-functionally, supporting that with data; your enterprising (self-starting) attitude (that supports the statement made in the first paragraph); and your organizational & interpersonal capabilities as evidenced by your successful partnership with a software consultant to convert a payroll from ADP to in-house. In this section, I not only included the accomplishments you mentioned in your email, but also the skills that set you apart from other job candidates.
In the third paragraph I indicated that your resume is enclosed and that you would call within a few days to see about setting up a time to meet. It's not only accepted, but also expected that a job seeker set into motion the circumstances needed to get that job, rather than waiting for a hiring manager to contact them.
I ended your letter by thanking the contact person for their attention.
All decisions to modify data were in keeping with the guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).
With this cover letter you now have a powerful tool that's well organized and will arouse the interest of a hiring manager.
It was a pleasure serving you, Tracy.
Good luck in all your future endeavors.
CyberEdit Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
