Free resume example critique:
Dear Mary ~
Your professional background and credentials are quite impressive, so I chose an "executive-style" format to best display this data. This style is both elegant and uncluttered and provides maximum impact.
Your name was bolded and centered to stand out from the rest of the type. Your contact data (phone numbers and email) are in a slightly larger type so that they are easily accessible to admissions directors or hiring managers.
I kept your resume to one-page as this is the preferred length in the industry. I began it with a short "Qualifications" section highlighting your expertise. Particular attention was paid to your award for Outstanding Researcher of the Year and the patent you recently received. I also included your technical programming skills up front as they are essential in today’s marketplace.
In the "Professional Experience" section, I pulled out all of your impressive accomplishments and grouped them in a special section so they could be easily seen. I began each bullet point with the strongest action verb available, while also rewriting your text for conciseness.
For example, you wrote:
"Directed, defined, and implemented a 1.3 million dollars development project of the advanced marine propulsor; lowered the noise level by 5 dB."
I changed this to read:
"Lowered the noise level of the advanced marine propulsor by 5 dB through successful leadership, definition, and implementation of a $1.3 million development project."
Another example in which you wrote:
"Directed and implemented the pumpjet development project of submarine and torpedo; obtained the substitution effect of about 10 million dollars compared with the direct import."
Was changed to read:
"Achieved cost-savings of nearly $10 million by facilitating and executing a submarine and torpedo pumpjet development project."
In the "Additional" section of your original resume, you had several significant accomplishments that I listed under the appropriate work heading.
For example, I placed your Outstanding Researcher of the Year Award and your patent information under the Senior Researcher / Team Chief Tag (beneath the accomplishments section). In this way, an admissions director or a hiring manager can easily see what you’ve achieved.
Because of space considerations, I chose not to include the information you provided under your Bachelor of Science degree. Your work history is so impressive, it’s really not necessary to include this. I also deleted the bullet referring to your executive committee leadership, cultural activity improvement, and restaurant administration. Again, your other achievements clearly state your leadership potential.
Finally, I chose to place your publications on a separate page. In this manner, you can distribute the publications without having to use the resume.
Every decision to delete or modify data was in keeping with the guidelines of the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).
I believe you’ll find this resume an impressive and helpful tool in your future endeavors.
Good luck to you, Mary. It was a pleasure serving you.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer(CPRW)
