Resume critique:
Dear Mike,
After careful study of your old resume and your unique talents, I substantially revised your "Summary of Skills" to better market you to a hiring manager. As I mentioned in our telephone conversation, the primary weaknesses of your old resume are lackluster design and vague bullet points. By bringing your outstanding contributions to Pure Personnel, Inc. out front in the Profile section, and by slanting the bullets towards your other accomplishments, your resume is now a powerful marketing tool.
I began your resume by choosing a design that's as dynamic as you. Your name is the largest text on the page, with your contact information (email and phone number) directly beneath. With great ease, a hiring manager can easily locate this data.
Because HR professionals are so busy and afford little time to resumes, I began yours with a dramatic Profile in which I describe you as a "Dynamic leader…" I wrote of your effectiveness in increasing company gross margins to record levels, and that you were consistently promoted to positions of increased responsibility. At a glance, a hiring manager knows where you've been and where you're headed, and will surely want to read on.
To further facilitate the marketing of Mike Dearborn, I bolded your titles. Quickly, a hiring manager can scan this document and see that the statement made in the Profile concerning your promotions are accurate.
Because you had expressed interest in more computer-oriented firms. I also reorganized your lists of leadership responsibility to begin with the Internet and IT.
In your Employment History, I began each bullet point with the strongest action verb possible, while also revising text for clarity, conciseness, and maximum impact.
For example, you wrote:
· Recognized in San Francisco Business Times as the 12th largest staffing services company in Bay Area for 1999. (Not on list previous year)
I revised that to read:
Grew company into one of the largest staffing services firms in the Bay area according to the 1999 San Francisco Business Times. First year the company was recognized.
In another example, you wrote:
· Grew top line revenue from $10.6M to $17.7M in 1998 - a 67% increase.
· Increased operating profits from a loss in 1996 to nearly $700k in 1998.
I revised those two bullet points into one that reads:
Grew top line revenue from $10.6M in 1997 to $17.7M in 1998 and increased operating profits from a loss in 1996 to $700K in 1998 by defining business and marketing plans for high-margin niches such as financial services, consulting, and accounting.
By adding the additional data you supplied, the accomplishment of growing top line revenue is now quantified and has a powerful effect on a hiring manager.
In all of your many accomplishments, I began with what you achieved, then quantified those statements with the nuts and bolts of how you did this. In other cases, I combined bullet points to make each one substantial and to organize them around some initiative you undertook.
I ended your resume with an Education section, which also emphasizes your commitment to continuing education as evidenced by the classes you have taken.
You'll note that I condensed your two-page resume down to one. Industry standards lean towards one-page resumes because that's what hiring managers prefer. Too, your employment in travel and in a greeting card company aren't germane to your current job search.
I also created an ASCII and text resume for you. You would use the ASCII resume for submission on job boards like hotjobs.com or Monster or to email the resume in the body of an email, rather than as an attachment. There are strong limitations on what an ASCII resume can look like, which is why it is very simple with no fonts and no bolding or special characters. You would use the web resume to email a link or put on business cards and hand out. The web resume is located at http://xxx
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers.
With this resume you now have a powerful marketing tool that's well organized and filled with pertinent data, while also being aesthetically pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Mike. Best of luck in all your future endeavors.
ResumeEdge Writer
Certified Professional Resume Writer
